Porcelain Hearts Porcelain Hearts
A margedom

I hope I die soon

No one in my family, not one of my friends or classmates realized that I was going through life asleep. It was literally true: I was going through life asleep. My body had no more feeling than a drowned corpse. My very existence, my life in the world, seemed like a hallucination. A strong wind would make me think my body was about to be blown to the end of the earth, to some land I had never seen or heard of, where my mind and body would separate forever. ‘Hold tight,’ I would tell myself, but there was nothing for me to hold on to."
Haruki Murakami, Sleep (via disbar)

(via pizzes)

I am a millennial. Generation Y. Born between the birth of aids and 911 give or take. They call us the global generation. We are known for our entitlement and narcissism.Some say it’s because we’re the first generation where every kid gets a trophy just for showing up, others think it’s because social media allows us to post every time we fart or have a sandwich for all the world to see. But it seems that our one defining trait is a numbness to the world, an indifference to suffering. I know I did anything I could to not feel. Sex, drugs booze.

Just take away the pain. Take away my mother and my asshole father and the press and all the boys I loved who wouldn’t love me back. Hell, I was gang raped and 2 days later, I was back in class like nothing happened. I mean that must have hurt like hell right?

Most people never get over stuff like that but I was like lets go for Jamba juice.

I would give every thing I have or will ever have just to feel pain again, to hurt. Thank God for minor league Fiona and 
her herb garden. One advantage of kind of being dead is that you don’t have to sweat warning labels. There was this one brown liquid that I thought made my nipples tingle for a second but I think it was psycho-somatic because I polished off the rest of it and didn’t feel shit. I tried every eye of newt and wing of fly until I found something that made me not look like Marilyn Manson anymore.

That’s the rub of all of this isn’t it, I can’t feel shit. I can’t feel anything. We think that pain is the worst feeling, it isn’t.

How can anything be worse the this eternal silence inside of me?

I used to not eat for days or eat like crazy then stick my fingers down my throat. Now, no matter how much I binge I can’t fill this hole inside of me. I can’t take it anymore. I think I’m going batshit. I need to do something.

"
• Madison Montgomery (via tatekitkyleevan)

(via tatekitkyleevan-deactivated2014)

View from the hospital this morning.
Shauna you piss me off I always think your posts are dudes until I see who reblogged it. xlovexisxblindx
sombersecrets:

Just recently got my ears pierced! 
lumenate:

coltre:

A lot of people complain about the night, and how lonely they feel inside their bed. But that’s not how it works for me. I notice I’m lonely at 9 am. When the sun wakes me up and everything is silent around me. I notice I’m lonely at 1 pm. When I walk down the street knowing I  have no one to go visit. I notice I’m lonely at 3 pm. When I draw on my yellow paper knowing there’s no one to say “This drawing is from me to you. I think about you a lot. ” I notice I’m lonely at 6 pm. When I look in the mirror and my body is untouched. There’s no sign of someone else living, touching, breathing my body.  It makes me sad thinking how much love I’m willing to give and it’s all going wasted because after all, maybe some people aren’t meant to be with someone.

finally someone puts this into words
Anonymous: What's it like being sexy as fuck?

xlovexisxblindx:

I mean I don’t know. I really love brownies and I tripped up the stairs yesterday so that’s my life

redheadedbarbiedoll:

achoomnida:

if you’re gonna unfollow me you’ll have to go through

image
the perfume department 

Lol

Was that comment really necessary

(via purpl3hello)